GAA Jokes

My sister took an English relation to a club game of ours many years
ago. During the course of the game, when things weren't going too well
for one of our corner backs, a woman in the crowd was shouting:
"Take that useless c**t off, he's good for nothing".

Needless to say, the English relation was horrified at such a remark
and tried to reason with the lady saying: "There's no need for that
language, I'm sure you wouldn't like someone saying those things about
your son," to which she replied: "sure, the useless c**t is my son!"

I was at an Armagh match in the early 90s with a neighbour of mine
who's loud by nature but is particularly vocal at matches (a bit rough
around the edges you might say).
Anyway, he took particular umbredge at one particular Armagh player
who wasn't having a great game. At one stage he shouts out the name of the player and roars: "if they won't take you off, for f**ks sake, walk
off!"

Didn't hear this one myself, but the great Willie Joe Padden told me
it at last years Mayo v Galway match from an ould fella behind him. Just
after Conor Mortimer missed the change with the free, he stood up
screaming: "Jesus, if Lee Harvey Oswald had been from Mayo, JFK'd be alive and kicking!"

A barrell of a man who was very much involved in Laois GAA was at a
junior football match in Abbeyleix one night, and he went on just to
make up numbers (jersey pulled on, playing with the socks around the
trousers and someone else's boots).
Anyway, he was running around but the low stature was telling and one
of the lads shouted at him: "For f**ks sake Sabu (his nick name), will you go up for the ball to which he replied: "sure I'm not a f**king eejit,
won't it come down to me!"

At a reserve game in Co. Derry, one team who had only the bare fifteen
trotted off at the break getting pretty badly beaten. Johnny at full
forward was having a nightmare.... here is part of the half time talk:
Manager: "Johnny, you're coming off."
Johnny: "but we only have the bare 15."
[short pause]
Manager: "come off anyway."

Galway minors played KK in the All-Ireland semi-final in '88. The cats
(Carey, Ronan, O'Neill, Carter, etc.) were walking it. Ronan was
injured in the second half and the Kilkenny doc was stitching
him on the field. As the time went on, a disgruntled Galwayman shouts:

"If ye don't hurry up, he'll be over age!"

At a minor league game a couple of years ago, our manager was giving
the usual f**king and blindin' to us when a spectator said to him over the fence:
"Don't be so ignorant....(short pause).... ye big fat f**ker ye."

Nice Tipperary one. Workmates console Eddie Tucker after Tipp are
demolished by Clare and he's had a bad day: "don't worry about it
Eddie, it wasn't your fault, it's the fecin eejits that picked ya."

Another classic:
I've been told involves the Ballygar-St. Brendan'shurling club in
Galway where a major dispute reared it's head at the AGM.
The chairman is reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionalbe
diplomacy. Amidst the row, a newly appointed priest took the floor
commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes,
not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should
pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force. The chairman stood up and said: "Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shite that sickens my hole."

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